This is my very first work from old forum: Submachine fan story. :D
original:
http://www.pastelportal.com/bbpress/topic.php?id=3616
Enjoy!
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This is little story, that I got from my head. Sorry for grammatically errors. And sorry if it looks silly
PLAYER NOTE
The elevator was going up. Possible freedom was getting closer and closer. At that moment I forgot everything else. There was nothing, except feeling of close freedom. This feeling eclipsed my mind. But now I realize that at that moment I was not free. At that moment I was trapped. I was truly free when I was trapped, when I was confused, when I was assiduously searching for exit from that place, when I could go mad of despair and die...
You might ask why I was free during that time. Because during that time my mind was open. It was assiduously searching for exit, suppressing fear and preventing madness. During that time I had a purpose. But when elevator, a possible exit, has opened before me, and I have entered into it, my mind was closed. While elevator was going up, I could only speculate. I speculated about why I am here, what is this place, what purpose of my being here, and the most important: whether place, where I was going, is the exit? It drove me crazy…
And then the door opened. And then I saw exit. And I blindly went there. All my concentration, my vigilance, my self-control, that were present in me from the time, when I woke up in that place, have disappeared. That was my mistake. My hope was destroyed in a flash. Everything, what I believed, was only the illusion created by machine. At that moment I was on the verge of madness…
But I coped, though it costed huge efforts. That submachine has almost killed me, no, not with her puzzles and mystery. It has almost killed me with that illusion of freedom, which it has created to completely destroy my mind. That attempt failed. And I hoped that it will not happen again, because it was the most terrible test for me. But I deceived myself. It repeated many times and each time it was stab in the back...
When I have lowered the lever of that machine, which was in the lighthouse, and bright light has blinded me, I again had those thoughts, which were in my head during lifting up of that elevator. And all repeated again: again illusion of machine, again a new, more terrible submachine. I endured that shock better, than previous, but still it was more terrible, than atmosphere of that lighthouse, than all obstacles that rose at me on a way to top of that tower...
Murtaugh was my new hope, a beacon light afar. If he was not there, then, maybe, I would not go so far. His shadow chased me since I woke up in submachine. It accompanied me until I read his “goodbye” words. Now Murtaugh is far ahead, but I follow him in his traces. These traces are easy to find. All submachines contain his traces. These traces can’t be healed. It is beyond the power even submachine. Eventually, sometime, these traces will lead me to him, if until that moment I don't go mad…
News about his lies could destroy my mind, could break me, but this did not happen. Perhaps some part of me realized that what happened will sometime happen. I realized this even before I read the notes of my predecessors. They are gone. They are all gone. They, like me, were trying to make sense of being here, setting a purpose. Perhaps they also did not trust Murtaugh, but they, like me, had no choice. If someone tried to rebel against his will, he was doomed to death. There is only Murtaugh instruction and task for performance...
Unfortunately, many people, performing his task, have gone mad, wandering through submachines. They wanted to explore submachine, to understand it, but it destroyed their minds. Any doubt in their actions, any difficulty in the way was leading to death. I could also be in their place, but this did not happen. And this is the biggest mystery. Why? Why am I still alive? Why every minute of my being here I am getting calmer? Why each new puzzle is getting easier and easier? Why every new obstacle is crushing and disappearing faster and faster? First minutes of my being here I felt fear, puzzlement, feeling that all is unreality, delirium…
But now I am absolutely calm. I know that this is not the end. It is just beginning. For a long time being here I have the feeling that I understand Submachine, rather, that I always understood it. For some reason. For some unknown reason it does not cause fear or despair, hopelessness and insanity. And even those illusions, which almost broke me, now seem simple, easy obstacles on the way...
Murtaugh killed another tiny hope that I had from the beginning. But this time I was expecting this. I could even expect that one day I will find out that Murtaugh had never existed, that it was another illusion created by Submachine. But now I clearly see the presence of a mad man in this place, all his crazy actions and their consequences. Because of him I could die as well as those who came before me. Who died in place, where I learned of his betrayal, where supercomputers of Submachine net are located among the stone cliffs...
But I was lucky. And now I'm going forward. His betrayal only revealed to me a way further. And now I follow him in his traces, through the center of endless Submachine world. Through place where I finally can learn the truth. Probably. All can be. I don't know that expects me ahead. I do not know whether I can trust Liz. I do not know if I'll find the exit someday. But I am sure that nothing and no one can destroy my free mind.