The Cassopolis Outpost Review

[WorldisQuiet5256]

Have the chapter more in my head, just trying to put together an ending for this one.

[WorldisQuiet5256]

Okay, I wont be able to post anything for about a week, 2 at top.
I got too much else going on with either College, or home.

[WorldisQuiet5256]

A new chapter is coming soon.
My new desk is in my bedroom, mid-term exams are done.
Should be posted later today or early tomorrow.

[WorldisQuiet5256]

Nothing?
huh...I would expect the hate by now.

[The Abacus]

huh...I would expect the hate by now.

Why?

The main suggestion I have if you want to improve the story is to use imagery and figurative language – you know: metaphors, similes, personification etc. (heck, I sometimes even use poetry).

[WorldisQuiet5256]

My Plan has work.

[ENIHCAMBUS]

[The Abacus]

Good luck...

[WorldisQuiet5256]

No, I was able to get a response out of you.
Thus...

[WorldisQuiet5256]

I need some advice from you guys.

I am writing the next chapter, but I am having a problem converting my thoughts into words.
I know what the message, the contents I want to have in my story, but I am worried over the redundancy of word use as well as the problem I have with writing the sentences down right.

Its more a problem between writing down a journal, and writing a story. I want to have aspects of character development, but I have trouble putting the conversation from my mind, to words on paper. I mean I played the situation out in my head the way I want it, how the conversation goes, what I would say, what the character would say.

Its more of a problem of wording it right so that it has...the word I can only think of is "Moments".
Like this, I can't find the right word, while the words I use are jumble up not only to me, but when I try to fix it I can't do it so that it works for the people who read it to get the message I want them to hear.

Could you help me out.