The Cassopolis Outpost Review

User avatar
WorldisQuiet5256
karma portal traveller
Posts: 5667
Joined: 03 Dec 2012 17:56
Location: 966 - Quiet Rooms - WiQ

Re: The Cassopolis Outpost Review

Post by WorldisQuiet5256 »

Okay, redoing the whole thing. The Cassopolis Outpost.
The location stays the same. But the infected and several other aspects are going to change.

For those of you who are interested, I find to rewrite it a bit so its more like Stephen Kings "The Stand". I'm not saying I'm going to steal any of his ideas, I'm just saying I going to work more on originality.
WHERE DO WE COME FROM
WHAT ARE WE
WHERE ARE WE
GOING
User avatar
WorldisQuiet5256
karma portal traveller
Posts: 5667
Joined: 03 Dec 2012 17:56
Location: 966 - Quiet Rooms - WiQ

Re: The Cassopolis Outpost Review

Post by WorldisQuiet5256 »

Okay, I need some more help with a certain subject.
What I looking for is a 2 type of a real virus.

Virus #1: When it infects someone, despite the symptom it takes the energy of a person and uses it to spread.
When I talk about a person energy, I mean it takes the fat or the protein acquired from food a person eats, and uses it to continue infecting stages.

Virus #2: it has to have some two things. One is that it hard to detect, and it lays "Dormant." inside a person who doesn't even know he/she is infected, until the symptom show. plus it has to be hard to detect, and even harder to test without the proper equipment.
WHERE DO WE COME FROM
WHAT ARE WE
WHERE ARE WE
GOING
The Abacus
wisdom crystal finder
Posts: 2877
Joined: 04 Dec 2012 10:41

Re: The Cassopolis Outpost Review

Post by The Abacus »

Does it have to be a virus? I don't know any viruses with those traits. For first one your probably looking more for some sort of parasite, and for the second something like a prion would be suitable.
Balance is imperative; without it, total collapse and destruction is imminent.
User avatar
WorldisQuiet5256
karma portal traveller
Posts: 5667
Joined: 03 Dec 2012 17:56
Location: 966 - Quiet Rooms - WiQ

Re: The Cassopolis Outpost Review

Post by WorldisQuiet5256 »

Well, what I am looking for is some germs, bacteria, or something of that kind that would be combined with Rabies to produce a infection that lies dormant inside a person bloodstream without any clear symptoms visible unless you test their blood in a specific way.

This virus would remain dormant until something triggers the virus to come out of its dormant state; To where the victim has the symptoms of Rabies. But the different from the usually kind. The difference being is that in order for the virus to keep the infective people alive, it speed up the process to of the energy consumption.
WHERE DO WE COME FROM
WHAT ARE WE
WHERE ARE WE
GOING
The Abacus
wisdom crystal finder
Posts: 2877
Joined: 04 Dec 2012 10:41

Re: The Cassopolis Outpost Review

Post by The Abacus »

Now that's a massive improvement, especially with that beginning: a hook like that is what will grab the reader's attention. I advise rereading it as there were a few grammatical errors. Try (again) adding some figurative language because while you have good descriptions, you can really enhance it by adding a few metaphors, similes and whatnot. You're getting there. :D

@virus types: unfortunately I can't really help you much here, sorry :(
Balance is imperative; without it, total collapse and destruction is imminent.
User avatar
WorldisQuiet5256
karma portal traveller
Posts: 5667
Joined: 03 Dec 2012 17:56
Location: 966 - Quiet Rooms - WiQ

Re: The Cassopolis Outpost Review

Post by WorldisQuiet5256 »

That's okay.
My great mother just help me solve all my problems in a instances.
WHERE DO WE COME FROM
WHAT ARE WE
WHERE ARE WE
GOING
Post Reply