And now, for something completely different: Shitty old English insults:
Thy matron is of such a size, that when she walketh by the TV, thou misseth 5 movies.
Thine mother's mass is so abnormous, that when she bicycleth past a public transport station in yellow garments, folks will prepare their tickets.
Thy matron is just so gargantuan, that wanderers will climb her with hooks and ropes.
Thy concubine is of such foul complexion that would certainly butcher a skunk.
Thy weener is of such size that thou must look for it with a magnifying glass.
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