🛡 Guardians of the Pastel Universe 🛡

[bender]

Bender's Super Secret Meeting

Vortex: I hope Bender is not joking again.
V: Hmm.. This must be the place.
Sublevel: Hey Vortex!
V: Sublevel! What are you doing here?
S: Uhhh... I don't remember.... Why are you here?
V: Strange I don't remember either...
S: Uhh.. so..... End of story?
V: I guess so...

.
.
.
.
.
*Suddenly Enihcambus descends from a light portal*

Master Guardian Enihcambus: Vortex! You have to come with me!
V: Now?
V: OK...
V: Space-time powers activate!
S: Do you really need to shout that out?


Vortex and Sublevel: The Origins


*At the ethereal plane of the Pastel Guardians*

V: What is it Ernie?
E: Vortex.... Does the name Bender ring a bell?
V: Uhhh... No?
E: Exactly..
E: You see Vortex.. I was doing my regular scans of story scripts and I discovered a faulty..
V: What is it?
E: A person named Bender appears on most of the stories.
V: Bender?
E: Exactly! A person who has never existed, has a leading role in most of the stories.
V: So what exactly is the problem? Can't we just change the scripts?
E: Vortex.. There is an infinite number of stories. Before we could alter all of the stories, the Bender Paradox would destroy the universe!
V: Bender Paradox?
E: Yeah.. I thought it was a reasonable name... Anyway, I want to show you something..

*Enihcambus hands Vortex a book*

V: "Guardians of the Pastel Universe: Random Adventures"? What is this?
E: This book holds all the scripts of all the stories that has happened and will happen. Even this conversation is in there somewhere.
V: Cool!
E: I want you to look at the story called: "Bender's Super Secret Meeting" the one I brought you from.
V: Ooohh! Hey why is this story called "Vortex and Sublevel: The Origins"?
E: I had to overwrite a shitty story. Never mind that. Just look at the one I showed you.

Bender's Super Secret Meeting

Vortex: I hope Bender is not joking again.
V: Hmm.. This must be the place.
Sublevel: Hey Vortex!
V: Sublevel! What are you doing here?
S: Bender told me to come here. He said something about Pastel Land's fate being in my hands.
V: He told the same thing to me! Where is Bender though?
S: I don't know. Look! There is a note here!

"You've just got Bendered retards!"

S: ...
V: ...
S: ...
V: What does it say?
S: ...
V: Sublevel?
S: ...

.
.
.

S: FFFFFFFFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

*Boom*

*The end*

Vortex and Sublevel: The Origins

V: That is not how things went!
E: I know.. The Bender component was missing.
V: Well.. What do we do now?
E: How should I know? Don't you know my IQ is somewhere between poop and Sublevel?
V: Haha! How could I forget that? Maybe it is because I am so retarded that every time I wake up I scream because I have hands! I am so fucking stupid that when I defecate I try to put my poop back! Wait. What am I saying?
E: Well you can't be as dumb as I am! My name is Submachine backwards! How stupid is that! HAHAHA Why did I even say this! What is going on!
V: Ernie you dumb piece of shit!
E: I know right! When I was born the doctor thought I was dead because my infant brain just couldn't cope with its stupidity!
V: HAHAHAHA! Well not everyone is as smart and magnificent as Bender!
E: Yeah.. He is the smartest guy in the world!
V: I wish my child was from him.
E: You are not a female dumbass!
V: Why? Can't I just poop the baby?
E: Oh my Subgod! How dumb are you!
V: Pretty stupid! HAHAHA
E: HAHAHAHAHA! I have shit for brians! HAHAHA
V: You can't ever spell brain right! HAHAHA
E: HEHEHEHEHEHEHE
V: WOOOOOOOOO

[ENIHCAMBUS]

Bender, the infohazard!

[Vortex]

this is too mindfuck for me, explain what's happening please XD

[bender]

this is too mindfuck for me, explain what's happening please XD

Recap:

Bender's existence is mysteriously deleted from the universe and no-one is aware of it. They don't even know Bender existed in the first place. Without Bender there could be no redneB. Enihcambus discovers a fault in the stories, a character named Bender does not exist. Because of this the stories cannot progress and create a paradox. If he cannot fix this the paradox will destroy the universe. Enihcambus with his space-time manipulating friend Vortex discuss this anomaly and make remarks about how stupid they are.

[Vortex]

thanks!

[Sublevel 113]

bad I didn't read his stories anymore

I want to see origins

I meant, I don't

[bender]

bad I didn't read his stories anymore

What?


Are still not reading my stories?

[bender]

Best Story Ever WrittenBy Bender the Magnificent

Vortex: Hey everyone! I am Vortex the idiotic dummy. Today I am going to try to open a jar!
V: Hmmm... This is too complex for me! I shall dial a friend.

*ring ring*

Rednoob: Well hello there friend!
V: Red! How do I open a jar?
R: It is simple my friend! You only have to lift the lid!
V: Thanks Rednoob!
R: Goodbye Vortex! Good luck on your quest!

*Vortex tries to lift the lid*

V: Ummmmppphhhh!
V: I can't! Along with being incredibly stupid, I am also weak as shit! I should not even be allowed to live!
Brownnoob: Pssst! I think I have what you need! Here eat this poop.
V: Ok!

*crunch crunch crunch*

V: ...
V: It is disgusting!

*Vortex the fucking idiot starts to run around naked and accidentally hits WIQ*

V: Sorry!
WIQ: ...
V: ...
WIQ: ...
V: ...
V: Ok then...
Subrever: Ey Vortex-san! What it is that you a doin?
V: Hey Sublevel! I just ate poop to open this jar!
S: You brin dishono to the empire! But the empero is forgive you. Giv me the ja.
V: Here Subby! I love youuu!
S: *sigh* Here I open your stoopewd ja. Now giv me Hapanese yen or you get katana in ass!
V: What? Katanas are supposed to be in the ass?
S: O you poo sour. You be dumbe than I ever imagine! Prepar you ass!
V: Noooo! Someone help me!
Bender: I will help you!
V: Bender!
S: I am terhibry sorry fo my miste God! Prease forgiv me.

-
--
-
--
--

And then Vortex's brain exploded from stupidity. He fell down to t-*yhkk6mhop6590

Little did Bender know, he was actually daydreaming. He did'nt see the acid pool near him. He slipped and fell in6ınopyh06k75op5cö

But Bender miraculously survived, owing to this superior atlyoıjupokhpğlytgp5yk50ky0*pğ

kopm
pkkok

But suddenly, Bender's poop catched fire and Bender exploded like Sublevel's grandma. And then the story ended, because it was not funny and too retarded for this world. Note: Seriously this story is so lame it shouldn't even exist!

*The end*

Post-credits:

The exploded Bender was actually a fake. The real Bender grabbed Sublevel and shove him up Vortex the mega idiot's rectum, where he exploded killing Vortex.


*The real ending; nothing is canon after this point*

But Vortex surkmtoıgkl6*0yk

NOT CANON

jerk

[Sublevel 113]

bad I didn't read his stories anymore

What?


Are still not reading my stories?

yep

[bender]

jerk