🛡 Guardians of the Pastel Universe 🛡

User avatar
Vortex
Murtaugh's hunter
Posts: 12140
Joined: 03 Dec 2012 17:11
Location: Spain

Re: Guardians of the Pastel Universe

Post by Vortex »

Not who, what! :P

If I'm not wrong, in this context Markov chains are a graph model that uses previous Guardians of Pastel Universe story to measure the probability that certain words come after others, and then generates a random story based on that.

They were invented by Markov, the cousin of Thoth who holds the Subnet's physics laws of thanks to a radioactive magical pen that generates markovium molecular chains.
User avatar
bendy
lost in subnet
Posts: 98
Joined: 30 Jun 2016 22:02
Location: Poopyverse

Re: Guardians of the Pastel Universe

Post by bendy »

Good Ol' Ernie
Cute bunneh, baby bunneh..
User avatar
bendy
lost in subnet
Posts: 98
Joined: 30 Jun 2016 22:02
Location: Poopyverse

Re: Guardians of the Pastel Universe

Post by bendy »

Operation P.S.O.

Vortex: Ahh, what a beautiful day...
*sniff sniff*
V: Oww, my eyes! Who is cutting onions?! Bender!
Bender: Hahahaha April Fools!
V: Dude its the middle of May. You missed it, like a month.
B: That's no excuse for not doing pranks! Anyways check this out, I call it "Operation Piss Sublevel Off"!
V: Uh, not again! I am not helping you!
B: Come on! All you have to do is to push him into the sewer while I keep the manhole open.
V: Bender I a-
B: Shh! Here he comes!
Sublevel: Hey guys! You are not going to believe what I-
B: Now!
S: ...
B: ...
S: Excuse me?
B: Fine I will do it myself!
V: No Bender!
*Bender pushes Sublevel into the sewer*
*Vortex catches Sublevel's back*
B: Ah, Vortex come on man!
*Bender tries to pull Vortex away*
Enihcambus: Hey Bender! April Fools!
V: No Ernie don't!
*Ehnic pushes Bender causing everyone to fall into the sewer*
B: Oww, my head! Anybody have a light?
E: I have m-
S: What the hell Bender?!
B: Umm.. What?
S: What is wrong with you! I am used to your everyday stupidity, but pushing me into the sewer?! Do you think this is funny you retarded piece of genetic waste! You poop eating, idiotic, bunny fetishist, ancient Japanese tap-
V: Calm down Sublevel! The sewer is filled with combustible gas!.... I guess... I saw it on a movie. Is it true guys?
B: Look Sublevel, what happened... happened. Are you going to help us, or keep crying like a useless baby.
S: What?! How dare you insult me!
B: That was not an insult. Babies are useless and you are considered a baby since you are only 4 days old.
S: What? I am 22 you idiot.
B: You're reborn every time you explode remember.
S: Well I keep my experiences! That should count.
B: Let's not get all philosophical here. Elrond use your scanner light thing so we can see.
E: Well my scanner does not have a flashlight.. But I have this glow stick!
B: Uhh.. Well does it bend?
E: Yup!
B: Great gimme!
*Bender lights the glow stick revealing a giant poop monster*
B: Holy shit! What the hell that thing!
???: Please no afraid..
B: It's going to kill us! Vortex do something!
V: Calm down Bendy. He is Raspootin the friendly poop monster.
B: Raspootin?
Raspootin: That be true. Please calm down.
S: You have to be kidding me Bender! Everyone knows who Raspootin is you ignorant fool!
E: Yeah. He is quite famous. I heard he used to be a scientist, but a gamma ray experiment turned him into poop and forced him to live in the sewers.
V: Nonsense! I heard he used to work at a chemical plant, but an accident caused him to mutate into a gross poo poo creature.
S: Oh my god, gamma rays, mutations what am I hearing.. These things only exist in sci-fi. He turned into poop because a sorcerer cursed to him to dwell the sewers for eternity!
R: No, no, no! You all be wrong! Gamma ray accident, give stomach cancer, me survive that. Insurance cover chemo. Chemical accident, I remember. Turn me skin white, nothing of serious. Sorcerer curse me yes, but no poop. He say every woman I be with give birth so I have to pay child welfare, but me virgin. I never feel the delicate touch of woman. I turn into poop because I eat bread after 5 seconds it fall to ground.
S: Ouch sorry about that... You shouldn't have violated the 5 second rule though. That's like physics 101.
R: I never have proper education. I learn chemistry from father. Father want--
B: Ahem! Sorry for interrupting your sweet talk, but I.. *ahem* we want to get out of here. I think my sinuses are burning.
R: Ah, yes! You want to go surface! I help, but need something in return!
S: Not it!
V: Not it!
E: Not it!
B: No--- Damn! Shoot.

*Later on the surface*

S: Hahaha! I cannot believe you did that!
V: Yeah, XD!
B: Grrr... Shut up!
Everyone: Hahahah! lol!!!!11!! XD *burp*
B: I am going to take a shower!
S: Make sure it is warm.
Everyone: Hahahahah! Trolololololololololo!!!!!!!!!!!!
B: Uhh! At least you will not speak of this.
V: Yeah Bendy! Whatever... XD

*Bender walks away*

Gil: Oh my! You can't be serious Vortex! Did Bender really do that!
V: Yes!! XD
G: Hahaha! That'll teach him!
Cute bunneh, baby bunneh..
User avatar
ENIHCAMBUS
karma portal traveller
Posts: 8653
Joined: 04 Feb 2013 22:17
Location: Pastel Lands.

Re: Guardians of the Pastel Universe

Post by ENIHCAMBUS »

Update Time

Ink Companion: Mateusz, I have completed my mission, the morphs live! Now I need to rest for a while.
Mateusz Skutnik: You can rest now buddy, you can!
Ink Companion: Thanks you!

Ink Companion banishes in the air.

Mateusz Skutnik: Now to expand the Subnet again, I'll check my schedule...
Mateusz's Schedule wrote:Vortex: I want bigger room, gib plox!
Mateusz Skutnik: uh...

Sudden Jatsko

Jatsko: Boss, I really appreciate the effort you put in your work, and I know your expanding the Subnet. I would like to tell the Guardians myself, so that you don't waste time in that.
Mateusz Skutnik: Okay, you can be my emissary, go do it as you please!

2 days later

Vortex: OMG, Mateusz updated my location, is bigger now!
ENIHCAMBUS: Yeah, but I don't see iconography representing you at all, is still a location with your theory pasted there, not an actual workplace like that of WIQ, Rulocore, Raxas or Death Road...
Vortex: At least I get to control who enters AEL, much like JackO controls who enters PTL...
ENIHCAMBUS: But PTL is an important location. There's pretty much nothing in AEL, its a location where you check if Edge's fan are working or not...
Vortex: At least I have more gold to extract...
ENIHCAMBUS: Is it gold? It grows in resin so it could be amber...
Vortex: But amber is orangey, this solid is yellow.
ENIHCAMBUS: But does it have metallic texture? I looks rocky...
Vortex: Well, at least I have a location...
ENIHCAMBUS: You think I'm jealous, I don't need a location so that anybody can visit it, my places are private!

Meanwhile in THB

Thomas Brussés: What are you doing here O.7.0.7.? This my place!
O.7.0.7.: My portal is in here too.
Thomas Brussés: But you have PBU location as yours!
O.7.0.7.: But that is just a typical empty location of the edge. You got some nice stuff here.
Thomas Brussés: Stuff that I made myself, you know...
O.7.0.7.: I made this portal, and without it, nobody could enter here, so I have my right to stay.
Thomas Brussés: Yeah, right...

Meanwhile in GZB

AK: So... Is this place still mine?
Mateusz Skutnik: NO!
ENIHCAMBUS: State of the Art Scanning!
🧐
User avatar
ENIHCAMBUS
karma portal traveller
Posts: 8653
Joined: 04 Feb 2013 22:17
Location: Pastel Lands.

Re: Guardians of the Pastel Universe

Post by ENIHCAMBUS »

It Was ALL A Dream, Part 1: The Dream Shard

Tells the legend that there's a wisdom gem that enables the user to enter other's people dreams, but they can't exit till the dreamer wakes up. That legend turned to be truth, and therefore is no longer a legend but fact. The context is unknown as its unlikely the Submachine needs something like that, who knows?

The Subs Base, Layer 4


Submachine AL: So here it is, the dream shard, anybody who's interested in using it can do, but with extreme caution. I won't cos my adventures are in real life, you know.
Sublevel: But you say is incorrect, this is a dream!
Subbot #100: Are you saying this thing lets us inter a dream within a dream?
SubPrupp/Yombai: INCEPTION!
Submachine AL: Sublevel, you keep believing this is a dream. Mateusz keeps telling otherwise...
SubKone: Yeah!
Sublevel: I don't care, I stand correct!
Subbot #100: Okay...
Submachine AL: So anybody is going to use it or I keep it in storage forever?
Sublevel: I have interesting idea!
SubProgram 32: Sublevel, you're not allowed to use the artifacts Submachine AL brings up after the toilet incident!
Subbot #100: Yeah, I had to clean up anything myself!
Subbot Smasher: I guys, Can I have it? I have some curiosity.
Submachine AL: Here, take it!
Subbot Smasher: Thanks.

Southern Garden, Layer 1

Subbot Smasher: So here it is.
Southern Garden Bibliotheca
Bibliotheca is a cool word! -Abacus
That's a non Anglo-Saxon word for library, that's lame -Vurn
Babylon is seen sleeping, its sleeping time
Subbot Smasher: Lets do it!
Subbot Smasher enters Babylon's dreams, the scenery shows the forests from Layer 3 being attacked by a series of large industrial machines belonging to Babylon corp. A lot of the furry critters that inhabit the area are fleeing greatly distressed.

Code: Select all

Subbot Smasher: Goddamn, my feelings were right about this guy, must warn the team... Whatever this guys wake up then...
Anteroinen passes by

Anteroinen: Oh boy, what is this? Is it? The Dream Shard? hmmm...
Vortex: Ant, you won't believe this! Jatsko is back!
Anteroinen: Oh boy!

The two go to the Southern Garden entrance, where Jatsko is seen floating inside a bubble decorated with Pisano circles and a pentagram.

Vortex: a pentagram is a Pisano circle too...
Bender: Like if I care...
Anteroinen: Wow Jatsko!
Jatsko: My name is not jatsko! My name is Apocrypha now!
Sublevel: You're still Error for me!
Apocrypha: [REDACTED], Jatsko, Error, ElllE are all dead now.
Sublevel: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
ENIHCAMBUS: Hey, mind if I call you Jacotskryphellerror?
Apocrypha: NO!
Anteroinen: Hey, Can I enter your dreams, Jatsko?
Apocrypha: What?
Anteroinen: He, I just got this gem that lets you enter dreams without RedAfro's help.
Apocrypha: Okay, that's disturbing, but sure! *Apocrypha suddenly sleeps*
Anteroinen: Oh boy...

Anteroinen enters Apocrypha's dream, appears to be a black void with floating Pisano circles.

Code: Select all

Anteroinen: Oh boy, more Pisano circles!
Apocrypha: Its the only thing I came up, one does not just sleep so suddenly
*ENIHCAMBUS manifests*
ENIHCAMBUS: hmmm... I was expecting some "Grotsko" action here.
Apocrypha: I am not into that...
ENIHCAMBUS: Glad to know, but still...
Anteroinen: Hey Enihc, you used the shard too?
ENIHCAMBUS: Of course.
Anteroinen: So, can you wake up Apocrypha?
Apocrypha: I dunno, I like this place, and I would certainly make everyone use the shard and enter here so I can have a stream here on day!
*Sudden Vortex*
Vortex: That's a cool idea!
Bender: hmmm, a shard that makes people enter other's people dreams, hmmm...
Rednoob: allo, Bendre, hwo re yu, wats tath tign?
Bender: Don't touch it is mi-

Bender presses the gem strong enough and accidentaly triggers it entering Rednoob's dream, which appears to be inside a large cake.

Code: Select all

Bender: What? you don't even were sleeping!
Rednoob: Ima Narcoholepthis, And Cat-A-Tonic too!
Bluenoob: I am Bluenoob!
Bender: How did you end here?
Bluenoob: I don't know, I'm Bluenoob!
Sublevel: So, its only me left... None of the subs is here... I can do it!

S.H.I.V.A.'s Access Point, Layer Redacted

Sublevel: Hey!
S.H.I.V.A.: Sublevel is that you? Mateusz told me to not answer questions from you... Is that the Dream Shard?
Sublevel: *Opens inter-communicator* Ewgeny, now!
S.H.I.V.A.: NO! Don't do that, you don't know what...
*Ewgeny, which is in Location 806, sets S.H.I.V.A. override mode*
Ewgeny: Shiva is asleep!
Sublevel: Yeah!

Sublevel enters S.H.I.V.A.'s... dream?

Code: Select all

ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR
*Stanislaw wakes up*
Stanislaw: It was all a dream!

To Be Continued
ENIHCAMBUS: State of the Art Scanning!
🧐
User avatar
Vortex
Murtaugh's hunter
Posts: 12140
Joined: 03 Dec 2012 17:11
Location: Spain

Re: Guardians of the Pastel Universe

Post by Vortex »

i want my life to be a dream
User avatar
Sublevel 113
layer restorer
Posts: 16576
Joined: 11 Dec 2012 20:23

Re: Guardians of the Pastel Universe

Post by Sublevel 113 »

finally!!! New story!!!

I have such dreams every week. :roll:

also, gonna kill one Architect
User avatar
ENIHCAMBUS
karma portal traveller
Posts: 8653
Joined: 04 Feb 2013 22:17
Location: Pastel Lands.

Re: Guardians of the Pastel Universe

Post by ENIHCAMBUS »

It Was All A Dream, Part 2: Ascendance

Lab Hub Plaza

Mateusz Skutnik (Trough Speaker System): So I'm afraid Sublevel escaped to another reality by hacking S.H.I.V.A. into override mode and using a teleport function to exit. S.H.I.V.A. is okay now, tough a bit dizzy by the experience, have a nice day!
Vortex: OH NO! HE DID IT!! HE FUCKING DID IT!!! :(
Kakama: Why he did that?
Anteroinen: Because he always believed this realm was all a dream.
Apocrypha: If this were all a dream if his, I think we should cease to exist then.
Vurn: Well, Duh...
Anteroinen: Of course, that's exactly why this reality isn't someone else dream to begin with.
Apocrypha: So he was wrong all this time.
Kakama: Well, that's what you get when you are into conspiracies...
Vortex: Guys, can't you see we wouldn't see him again... :cry:
Anteroinen: Yeah, but I chosen to move on since there's really nothing to do about it.
Kakama: Same here!
Vurn: Ditto.
Apocrypha: Keep Calm And Carry On.
Vortex: Oh My Subgod guys...

Vortex is left alone in the Lab Hub, till someone appears

Bender: And that someone is Bender!
Vortex: Bender, you!
Bender: Yes, I heard about Sublevel. Really bad news...
Vortex: He's gone forever!
Bender: maybe, I wonder what happens if he wants to go back here.
Vortex: I dunno really, maybe if he misses me and his friends.
Bender: Yeah, like me!
Vortex: I have my doubts about that, no offence.
Bender: I know. But just as he could escape from here to another reality, he can escape from that reality back to here!
Vortex: That sounds good, maybe if we ask S.H.I.V.A. about this.

S.H.I.V.A. Access Point

Vortex: So, can Sublevel go back to this reality?
S.H.I.V.A.: Yes.
Bender: Oh, so that's it...
S.H.I.V.A.: Yeah!
.
.
.
Vortex: This is fucking odd isn't it?
*Sudden Mateusz*
Bender: Mateusz! I knew you were behind this all the time!
Mateusz Skutnik: Fuck off Bender. Yes, Sublevel can go back here, I didn't even say it he was gone forever, that's something you guys assumed, but...
Vortex: But what?
Mateusz Skutnik: The reason I didn't talk about this is because I don't wanted to make panic.
Bender: What the fuck is going on here?
Mateusz Skutnik: Sublevel want's to go back here through Layer 8. You know, the reason that Layer behaves as it does is because it was from where I entered this reality, is from where I created everything!
Vortex: I can't believe it... HE WANTS TO BECOME THE SUBMACHINE GOD!
Sublevel: YES! >:D
Mateusz Skutnik: Shit, is fucking late!
Bender: Hey, I missed you!
*Bender is banned from existence*
Vortex: No, this can't be happening!
*The world surrounding Vortex, Mateusz and Shiva starts turning into a living nightmare*
Sublevel: Sweet Nightmares!
Mateusz Skutnik: Sublevel why do you do this, there's Daymare Town, you know!
Sublevel: That's not enough for me.
Mateusz Skutnik: Well...
Vortex: Mateusz, why don't you use your God powers to revert what he's doing?
Mateusz Skutnik: Because he would then revert things back to his liking, and that's a feedback loop I don't want to start.
Vortex: Why don't you just take out his God Powers?
Mateusz Skutnik: I could do if he's willing to, but he doesn't. I would require the will of two mans to do that.
Vortex: What do you mean?
Mateusz Skutnik: I want you to take that Dream Shard, and then exit this place to then go back through Layer 8 and help me with this! K?
Vortex: Yes sir.
Mateusz Skutnik: S.H.I.V.A. Override mode!
*S.H.I.V.A. enters Override mode*
Mateusz Skutnik: Good luck!
Vortex: Okay, lets do this!
Sublevel: Yes Vortex, join me! >:D
Vortex: Once this finishes, I'm going to explode you the hardest!
Sublevel: I though you were my friend.
Vortex: What you're doing is selfish.
Sublevel: Damn, you're right... you know, I enjoy more my own nightmares than this, after all, I wanted to become Submachine God, and I did it! But I enjoy what Mateusz does. *Sublevel reverts everything back to normal and accepts being resigned from God status*
Mateusz Skutnik: That was easy! *Mateusz returns Sublevel to his previous state*
*Bender is unbanned back into existence*
Bender: Oh my head, so everything is solved now?
Sublevel: Yes! I could taste what it feels to be Submachine God! >:D
Bender: Ugh, lets explode him.
Vortex: Yeah, sorry Sublevel, but you wouldn't get out of this without getting exploded thousand of times.
Sublevel: Heh, I'm used to that :p
Vortex: Well then...

As Vortex, Bender and Mateusz explode Sublevel thousand of times, Brownnoob appears and takes the Dream Shard

Brownnoob: What a lucky day for the noobkind!
*The others notice Brownnoob presence*
Sublevel: Isn't that Brownoob?
Vortex: Oh no, he has the shard!
Mateusz Skutnik: GODDAMMIT! And I left S.H.I.V.A. in Override mode!!!
Bender: poop

Brownnoob enters S.H.I.V.A. when in Override mode

*Brownnoob Wakes Up*
Brownnoob: Poop For The Noob God!

To Be Continued
ENIHCAMBUS: State of the Art Scanning!
🧐
User avatar
Vortex
Murtaugh's hunter
Posts: 12140
Joined: 03 Dec 2012 17:11
Location: Spain

Re: Guardians of the Pastel Universe

Post by Vortex »

Finally! :'D
ENIHCAMBUS wrote:Bender: Hey, I missed you!
*Bender is banned from existence*
Vortex: No, this can't be happening!
*The world surrounding Vortex, Mateusz and Shiva starts turning into a living nightmare*
Sublevel: Sweet Nightmares!
this made me laugh so hard XD
User avatar
Sublevel 113
layer restorer
Posts: 16576
Joined: 11 Dec 2012 20:23

Re: Guardians of the Pastel Universe

Post by Sublevel 113 »

FINALLY
I'M SUBMACHINE GOD
AS I TOLD YOU RIGHT BEFORE VORTEX EXPLODED ME FOR FIRST TIME
though... I knew it all would end as DREAM, right?... :( so I wasn't Subgod...

and ok, it's always good to ban Bender. And made Chris Walker to chase Mateusz and Vortex. >:3
Post Reply