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the Architect's apprentice
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Joined: 13 Sep 2016 08:16
Posts: 447
Have to vent some feelings, so I'll abuse this thread to mean "thoughts on any kind of relationship"

Everyone I care about is far away from me, and I can't handle being alone anymore. And yet, the thought of being with a lot of people also repels me. The two people I wish I could spend time with the most aren't available. And everyone is busy, which I can't and don't blame them for, but I feel selfish regardless. Lately I've been in need of constant exchange and reassurance that no, in fact I'm not annoying everyone I so desperately want to talk to and that I'm still appreciated and missed. I feel so dumb because of it.

I can't handle silence like I used to. There's this tight feeling in my chest that I usually get when I'm anxious, but sometimes it's closer to a heartache. Makes it hard to breathe.


29 Oct 2017 13:20
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subnet traveller
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Joined: 11 Aug 2016 13:20
Posts: 1628
Location: I feel like I have a lot of stuff to make up for...
Saying you abuse this threat for this comment is already wrong. If you cannot handle being alone, I feel realy sorry for you. You are a beautiful person. And if you need people to be there for you, and they do not, they are not friends. Friends rely on each other when needed. You realize you are not annoying anyone, so keep that tought with you. We live in troubled times already. We need more beautiful people are artist like you. There are phone numbers you can talk to, and don't feel ashamed to do so.


29 Oct 2017 13:37
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the Architect's apprentice
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Joined: 13 Sep 2016 08:16
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Ko9 wrote:
And if you need people to be there for you, and they do not, they are not friends.


Sometimes people are just busy. You can't expect everyone to always be there for you when it's convenient, like they're on-call.

Ko9 wrote:
There are phone numbers you can talk to, and don't feel ashamed to do so.


I don't like phonecalls. And that's not the type of human connection I want or need.


29 Oct 2017 13:41
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subnet traveller
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Joined: 11 Aug 2016 13:20
Posts: 1628
Location: I feel like I have a lot of stuff to make up for...
I hope for you they are on-call but come back. I don't know you very well, but I hope the best for you and that you read the other parts of my comment that are about love and validation, and that is what you desereve. If a phone call seems hard and you are realy lonely then I feel realy sorry for you.
So please, tell me what I can do for you.
Or what the community can.


29 Oct 2017 13:44
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the Architect's apprentice
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Joined: 13 Sep 2016 08:16
Posts: 447
I hear ya. And thank you.


29 Oct 2017 13:46
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lost in subnet
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Joined: 18 Sep 2016 17:57
Posts: 37
Location: Canada
I'm kinda lonely...

Except for one girl (which is friend with the only human I can't endure more), no one loved me relationship-wise.
Being loved by someone is a feeling I wish I knew more of it. Can you guys kinda describe how it is when someone is in love with you?

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Rever Man


04 Nov 2017 01:27
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subnet traveller
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Joined: 11 Aug 2016 13:20
Posts: 1628
Location: I feel like I have a lot of stuff to make up for...
Nope. Sadly one having for one person and not getting it back. Why else do you think I became Emo/Goth :P


04 Nov 2017 08:20
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Murtaugh's hunter
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Joined: 03 Dec 2012 17:11
Posts: 11949
Location: Spain
Rever Man wrote:
Except for one girl (which is friend with the only human I can't endure more), no one loved me relationship-wise.
Being loved by someone is a feeling I wish I knew more of it. Can you guys kinda describe how it is when someone is in love with you?

Yeah, honestly I don't have much experience either, I've only had one proper relationship so far and it was more than 3 years ago. But I can let the old me talk about it:

http://www.pastelland.com/forum/viewtop ... 621#p47621


04 Nov 2017 10:27
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explodes
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Joined: 11 Dec 2012 20:23
Posts: 15613
same.
And I still have "objective" to not even try to find/start relationships now and in near future.

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Submachine: OST
60%


04 Nov 2017 10:53
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subnet traveller
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Joined: 11 Aug 2016 13:20
Posts: 1628
Location: I feel like I have a lot of stuff to make up for...
When I am 18 I will realy try my best to find someone. I just want to love someone and feel loved back. And find someone to wait for at a busstation. And cuddle with each other and feel warm together.


04 Nov 2017 11:20
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