reed wrote:
This is just something brought up by the last batch of awesome pictures. Whenever I look at a good art piece, I think about how I'll never be capable of producing anything even remotely good. I'm sick of the lack of progress. I know this sort of thinking is counter-productive, but I can't do anything about it, at least not now. I'm about to give up once more.
Oh well, whatever.
I think I get you bro/sis. I've walked down the path of "whatever I do is meh" my entire life and all I can say to you is don't give up. (Oh yeah, Cone, what a nice piece of advice.) No, but, like, seriously - don't. I can imagine that we are in a similar situation - do you start doing something, see someone who's better and get discouraged? I might be assuming too much and if I am, sorry. But to finally make my point - you gotta remember that "good" and "bad" are values, and values are subjective. While you yourself might not find your art special, there will be those who do - and do so for real, not just to be nice (because I know people who lack confidence tend to assume that others tell them stuff just to make them feel better). Sure, you may never become famous, but you won't know unless you try*. Anyway, just hang in there, and again, sorry If I am being too much of a sage.
On a separate note:
For several years now summer has been bringing a recurring sense of dissatisfaction with my life. This is most likely due to the fact that when I don't study at the uni I go back from the flat my dad rents for me to my parents' home. And I don't do shit here. I can't even do shit. I have no practical knowledge. During my university time, instead of learning how to live on my own, I waste all my free time playing video games. During summer this turns into entire days of sitting in front of the fucking screen.
Oh, by the way, I am jobless. I know I should start doing something, but the thing is that... I don't fucking want to. I've always told everyone that my predominant characteristic is laziness. Why they never believe is beyond my comprehension. Whenever I think about taking up a job, my stomach tries to escape through my mouth, not even joking. Besides, all I can do is translate stuff from English into Polish or the other way around, sometimes maybe from Japanese. The market is already full of translators, so finding something is difficult af. But then again, excuses, excuses...
Then there's my personal life. I have a few friends who are the most amazing people in the world. And I'm being a complete dick to them. This is ridiculous, really, to think that they still patiently put up with my shit. I always make those goddamn sarcastic remarks and people just stare at me with "omg how could you say that" written all over their faces. My only explanation in such situations is "sry I couldn't help myself lol." I'm a douche. xD
Love life? Excuse me, what? Yeah, sure, I have a crush. Been that way for 3 goddamn years. Never told her anything, we are friends but outside of the friendzone for now, which I guess is good. She called me "brother" once, though. Family zoning is even worse Kappa. Also I've heard she's after someone now and I'm not even sure if I'm not-ok with that - she definitely knows what's going on with me, she's just too smart and understands too much not to know - I've been treating her silence as a "no." It's sort of tiring not being able to tell her, and by "not being able to" I mean that if I told her and she rejected me, I don't think our friendship would survive that. We'd both be extremely uncomfortable with that, so since she seems to pretend nothing is happening I'm just gonna be a cowardly faggot for the rest of my life. Then, again, I might be overestimating her perception, in which case I'd turn out to be an idiot, which, ultimately, has always been the case in my life.
TL;DR
[Q]: HAHAHA COAN DID U COME BACK JUST TO TELL US BOUT YER SHITTY LIFE KEK
[A]: Yeah, pretty much.
*It's funny that I only say this kinda stuff when I give people advice and never actually think that when I myself am in doubt.
