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Re: A' L L U K I N - chapter 2

Posted: 29 Jan 2014 00:46
by - ak -
Theta
  • Okay I think that's good enough, Command: check the damage

Re: A' L L U K I N - chapter 2

Posted: 29 Jan 2014 00:48
by - ak -
  • Okay I think that's good enough, Command: check the damage
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<DOCTOR DODD>

Oh now look what you have done!
You have set into motion that undid everything for all of us!!!

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<ENER>

YAAHHH!!!


<MADDOX>

WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?!?! How can you survive even that?!?!


<DOCTOR DODD>

That's where you're wrong.

Sooner or later, you will realize the significance of your ignorance.


For I will be ashes soon...

Re: A' L L U K I N - chapter 2

Posted: 29 Jan 2014 00:48
by - ak -
Theta
  • COMMAND: Wait for him to burn up and see if any cards or something survived :-)

Re: A' L L U K I N - chapter 2

Posted: 29 Jan 2014 00:53
by - ak -
  • COMMAND: Wait for him to burn up and see if any cards or something survived


<MADDOX>

Oh... finally. We did it, then.


<DOCTOR DODD>

Don't be so conceit, Maddox. You think you seen it all?


<ENER>

As if there are anything better than you are!


<MADDOX>

Or... worst?


<DOCTOR DODD>

You cannot hope to survive that are yet to be encountered out there. If you think I am the worst, you are extremely far away from the accuracy of that assumption. Without any threads of understanding what's happening to you two and to all of us, there is no way we can resist the abstraction of fate.

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<DOCTOR DODD>

You.


Cannot.


Stop.


EVERYTHING.




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... what dangers lurk ahead?

Re: A' L L U K I N - chapter 2

Posted: 29 Jan 2014 06:03
by - ak -
( ak + soulllock )
  • now that was epic :D I have to thank you all for your persistence with excellent commands. Now that you know the severity of Situation... what will lurks within the next chapter?

    Until next time... peace.
Theta
  • HECK YEAH WE BEAT THE FIRST BOSS WOOO
( ak + soulllock )
  • More like a mini boss ;) ok, maybe the first boss is an accurate description.
YamiX
  • simply A-MA-ZING! This little story at the end is so...mysterious...
    
Doctor Dodd idea was very cool!!

    Now we can wait peacefully to chapter 3. :mrgreen:
    But I wonder if we can still save Elouf...let's wait for the next chapter to see it.
neurostatictoxin
  • I wonder how they're even gonna get out of the room o.o But yeah, AK, awesome work dude.
( ak + soulllock )
  • thanks guys :D
    Chapter 3 will be coming out sometime soon. No, not on Monday. That would be too quick. Perhaps sometime this week.

    I will post the link to Chapter 3 here when it ready ;)
Vurn
  • You know ak, the flame images were quite awesome.
    
Also, THEORY:

    After the first and second chapter, we've seen two guys talking.

    They were talking also about experiments.

    I think those guys are Ener and Maddox, before the company started experimenting on them.

    so here's the story:

    there was once the Company

    it made things like Quall, Elouf, Ener

    they experimented on them

    something bad happened

    and they woke up.
    
lol. theories.
YamiX
  • yeah...I do think the two beings are Ener an Maddox....but only this.
Wayward Raxas
  • Though my fried router kept me out of this adventure as of late, I have taken moments here and there to read, and I like it so far. The art is nice, especially considering you pump these things out so quickly and efficiently. My only complaints are; 1. The English falters in some areas. It is probably not your first language, so I can't blame you, but it can get a little distracting at times, and 2. The characters' reactions can seem a little off at times. The cute appeal comes through loud and clear, but that can't really be prevalent in darker scenes, like Doctor Dodds operation room. Personally, I think the average person's reaction to having the lights come on would be to curse up a storm and lose my lunch.

    
That doesn't mean I didn't like it though. It's definitely one of the more entertaining ones I've read in my time, and as a browser of the MSPA adventure subforum, that's saying something.
( ak + soulllock )
  • The English falters in some areas. It is probably not your first language, so I can't blame you, but it can get a little distracting at times


    English isn't exactly my strong language, though I try to make it clear and error-free as possible :)
    The characters' reactions can seem a little off at times.
    

I try to make them as natural and smoothly-flowing as possible. I do notice some "off-of-rhythm" flows in some of reactions and dialogues. The only reactions that are intentionally "off" are (surprises) humor bits and skits :D
    
The cute appeal comes through loud and clear, but that can't really be prevalent in darker scenes, like Doctor Dodds operation room. Personally, I think the average person's reaction to having the lights come on would be to curse up a storm and lose my lunch.


    The cuteness isn't all appearance. It also about how the character acts :P When cute characters act seriously, then then tone is more serious than cute. At least, that's my opinions. And personally, I would make a run for it rather than stand still, cuss out loud, and get yourself kill in split second. Of course, Doctor Dodd isn't the type to quick-kill someone.

    That doesn't mean I didn't like it though. It's definitely one of the more entertaining ones I've read in my time, and as a browser of the MSPA adventure subforum, that's saying something.
    

Thanks ;) it may not suppose to overtake MSPA as epic "forum story" of the internet, but I like knowing that awesome readers like you enjoyed its substances :mrgreen: well, at least I hope it has substances.

    The art is nice, especially considering you pump these things out so quickly and efficiently.


    I prepared about at least 50% of artworks before I start a chapter, mainly the environments and few of characters' sets of poses. That's one of reasons why I am pumping them out so fast :D of course, that doesn't count for many of drama, plot, and humor scenes which takes some time to develop (biggest example would be the epic Doctor Dodd sequence)
neurostatictoxin
  • The characters' reactions can seem a little off at times.


    Remember, sometimes AK can only work with the COMMANDS he gets lol .. >_>

    The cute appeal comes through loud and clear, but that can't really be prevalent in darker scenes, like Doctor Dodds operation room. Personally, I think the average person's reaction to having the lights come on would be to curse up a storm and lose my lunch.


    Personally, I love the contrast between a chibi-furry duo and a full of blood and guts. But in the story/world "realism" is subjective.. I mean whats the extent of being "awakened" and all sorts of excuses are possible lol.
    
I prepared about at least 50% of artworks before I start a chapter, mainly the environments and few of characters' sets of poses. That's one of reasons why I am pumping them out so fast [:D] of course, that doesn't count for many of drama, plot, and humor scenes which takes some time to develop (biggest example would be the epic Doctor Dodd sequence)
    

Do you ever prepare some dialoque/poses that you don't actually get used? Like you anticipate a command that just doesn't come up by chance? It'd be interesting if you included those in the post-chapter sketches section. One I can think of is maybe.. Maddox testing out the lighter+welder and the spray paint can, prior to the Doctor Dodd scene?
The only possible thing I might bring up, which you may have already come up with, is to avoid being the first post on the page? So people can back track to the last page they saw, if they missed some, so they don't get spoilers right in their face D: I got Doctor Dodds lab reveal too early that way, but still got the "HOOOOOOOOLY CRAP" factor lol


    And whoops. I thought this was the discussion thread ._.
( ak + soulllock )
  • You can move to the discussion thread now :D
    I will post the link to the 3rd Chapter when it ready.

    minor discussions are still accepted here ;)
Rooster
  • WOOOOOOAH!!!! Kinda glad I didn't participate so I get more of the Comic-Book feel to it. :D Amazing as always!

    I got Doctor Dodds lab reveal too early that way, but still got the "HOOOOOOOOLY CRAP" factor lol
    

I usually get spoilers from starting on the backpage too, but -ak-'s just that good of a storyteller. ;)
    Command: Ask how he is invincible like Bruce Willis in the movie Invincible
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unbreakable_(film)

    This one, Theta?
YamiX
  • That's one of reasons why I am pumping them out so fast of course, that doesn't count for many of drama, plot, and humor scenes which takes some time to develop
    

like the LADDER sequence??? HUN hun??? :mrgreen:
( ak + soulllock )
  • I usually get spoilers from starting on the backpage too, but -ak-'s just that good of a storyteller. ;)


    And this story took a lot of months of polishes ;)
    
like the LADDER sequence??? HUN hun??? :mrgreen:


    That one took a while to make :mrgreen: I just couldn't say NO to that one
YamiX
  • I just couldn't say NO to that one


    I knew you would like it! and I loved what happened to the LADDER / rocket ladder
( ak + soulllock )
  • Heh. Well, thanks for the participation, guys and gals :D sad to say that this thread will be closed...
    
for the next chapter is out!


    -- CHAPTER 3 - in blind excursion --

    
enjoy 8-)

Re: A' L L U K I N - chapter 2

Posted: 09 Oct 2015 19:30
by - ak -
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